The One Came Back
by Agent R
Summary: Hope you enjoy, a twisted story involving a bunch of drunks, a WWII medallion, Hawaii, and the return of Connor in chapter 4, along with all your favorite original characters, please read and review.
1. Default Chapter

The One Came Back  
  
8:00 AM, everyone rushed to the airport to pick up Amanda, she was finally going to explain why she was having them meet her in Germany.  
  
"You know something I like to do when I go to airports and hospitals?" Amber brought up.  
  
"What?" Richie asked.  
  
"I like to tick everyone off by reserving all the seats in the waiting areas," Amber replied.  
  
"What do you do? Jump on every chair reserving them?" Duncan asked.  
  
"No Duncan, I pick all the chairs up and stack them on top of each other...of course I jump on them and call reserves," Amber said.  
  
"I'd like to see that, looks like Amanda's flight's going to be delayed," Richie said.  
  
"Okay, see that old guy over there?" Amber pointed.  
  
Richie saw him, he must've been in his 70s.  
  
"Probably senile by now, so this one will work."  
  
Amber walked over to the man and tapped him on the shoulder.  
  
"Excuse me, there's someone sitting there already," Amber told him.  
  
The man looked around and saw no one, but didn't want to get into trouble so he got up and moved.  
  
"Much better," Amber said.  
  
Joe rolled his eyes and took a few steps back, he started to wonder why he even came along.  
  
"Come on, everyone's getting off the plane," Duncan noticed.  
  
They dragged Amanda out of the crowd of the other passengers the minute they saw her and got her out to the car.  
  
"Allright Amanda, you have us come to Germany, no explanation, what's going on?" Duncan asked.  
  
"What? No hello first?" Amanda asked.  
  
"Amanda, of course, I'm thrilled you're here, it's great to see you, but I do want to know why you had us come out here," Duncan said.  
  
"Hey Amanda, what's going on, you a cat burglar again?" Amber asked.  
  
Amber came over with a large, strange medallion.  
  
"That's why I'm here," Amanda told him.  
  
Apparently Amber was more than an eavesdropper, she was a pickpocket too, she took it from Amanda's bag.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"Then I opened my suitcase and it was there, I swear, I have no idea how it got in there, but I didn't steal it," Amanda said.  
  
"Was it one on display at that fancy antique shop you saw?" Amber asked.  
  
"I don't know, none of them looked like this, I was wondering if maybe it belonged to one of your relatives," Amanda told Duncan, "it used to belong to a German soldier, I was thinking maybe you knew something about it."  
  
"I've never seen it before," Duncan said.  
  
"It has a German name on it, I was thinking if it didn't belong to anybody now, maybe we could find someone who could give us a good deal on it," Amanda said.  
  
"Well, according from the condition and shape of the medallion, I'd have to say it was," Duncan got cut off.  
  
"Rubbish!" Joe said, "from King Rubbish, of the Royal Rubbish Crown."  
  
"It looks about 60+ years old to me," Amber said.  
  
"How did you know?" Duncan asked.  
  
"I didn't, it just looks that way to me," Amber said.  
  
"Don't tell me she's got something," Amanda said.  
  
"Well, you know I'd hate to agree with her, but I'm afraid so," Duncan replied, "but, I don't think anybody would have any possession of it these days...I'll make a few calls and see what I can come up with."  
  
"And I'll go make a few phone calls myself and see what I can come up with," Amber grabbed a large red phone book and headed for the front door.  
  
"Amber, where are you going with that thing?" Amanda laughed.  
  
"To the phone booth in the alley on the next street over, Duncan's only going to think to call across Germany, I know a few international dealers who I think could give us a good amount of money for that old thing if no one claims it," Amber replied.  
  
"Well, this is the worst welcoming party I've seen," Amanda sighed.  
  
"Well, just don't think we're not grateful you're here, Amanda, but the last few days here have been hell, you wouldn't believe it," Richie said, "first, Amber thought Mac was a vampire, then Tessa's ghost came around here and haunted everyone....well, just about everyone, at that same time, we got a call a few days ago saying you were coming in on the next plane...obviously some strange crank caller...and now this medallion business."  
  
"Anything else I should know about?" Amanda asked.  
  
"Not at the moment, I don't think," Richie replied, "now let me get this straight, you go to an antique store in London, see some strange medallions, but none of them look like this one. The lady who owns the store is a gypsy who starts yelling in Swaheili, and then you find this in your bag when you get back to the hotel?"  
  
"In a nutshell," Amanda said.  
  
"Are we ever," Richie added.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"Allright Amanda, I have some good news and I have some bad news," Duncan said.  
  
"What's the good news?" Amanda asked.  
  
"The good news is, this thing hasn't been of anyone's possession since WWII," Duncan said.  
  
"So how much is it worth?" Amanda asked.  
  
"That's the bad news, I can't find any dealer here who can give me a decent price, most of them can't even think what an estimate should be," Duncan said.  
  
At that exact same time, Amber came in with the phone book in her hands.  
  
"I've got good news," Amber said.  
  
"I hope it's better than mine," Duncan said, "what is it?"  
  
"Well, I made some phone calls to dealers and pawners, telling them exact details about this medallion, and I found a guy who said he'll give us a fair price for it," Amber explained.  
  
"How much is a fair price?" Richie asked.  
  
"How fair do you find $3,000 at least?" Amber asked.  
  
"Wonderful, so where is this guy?" Joe asked.  
  
"Hawaii," Amber said.  
  
"Hawaii?"  
  
In the shock, Duncan spilled a hot cup of coffee all over himself, "Amber, what did you just say?"  
  
Amber drew her sword with the tip of the blade planted at her boot, "you wanna take this outside MacLeod?"   
  
"Amber, will you quit fooling around? What do you mean Hawaii?" Duncan asked.  
  
"I mean Hawaii, you know, 5 islands, last part of the United States, not even connected, full of volcanoes and pineapples and fire throwers and tikis and palm trees...  
  
"I know what Hawaii is!" Duncan exclaimed.  
  
"Well then why did you ask her?" Methos asked.   
  
"How are we going to make a deal with this guy when he's in Hawaii....HALF WAY ACROSS THE GLOBE!?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Relax, I told him he was dealing with some very important people, so I gave him our address, and he's sending us 6 first class tickets heading to Hawaii, and he's got a flight booked for us in 3 weeks," Amber said.  
  
"3 weeks?" Amanda asked.  
  
"I think that's what the little lady said," Methos butted in.  
  
They all got into a large argument about the whole thing, 3 weeks, Hawaii, $3,000, and everybody was taking sides, and nobody was even winnin the argument to make things worse.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Come an hour later, everyone was quiet at dinner, well, as quiet as you could get with knives cutting through the food, some of them burping, others chewing like a camel, and one who kept mumbling through his teeth throughout the entire meal.  
  
"Mac, I'm sorry, but I already told you, this guy's the best we got... Johnny O' Neil, and it's not like coming across him was a stab in the dark, I've made plenty of conversation and business with him before," Amber said.  
  
"Is he honest to his word?" Duncan asked.  
  
"You tell me how honest a guy can be when he's rivaling with the Mob," Amber said.  
  
No one found her joke funny, but they started to wonder if it was even intended as a joke.  
  
"Amber," Duncan started.  
  
"Hold it, how long is your right arm?" Amber asked.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Just tell me."  
  
Duncan exteded his arm as far as he could.  
  
"With a fist."  
  
So he curled his hand into a fist.  
  
"About 3 feet, why?" Duncan asked.  
  
"How much space difference is there between your seat and mine?" Amber asked.  
  
"About 2 feet, 9 inches, why?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Richie, trade with me."  
  
Amber grabbed her plate and jumped out of her chair, but instead of changing seats with Richie, she left, and pretty soon, Richie did the same.  
  
"Richie, where do you think you're going?" Duncan asked.  
  
"What are you? My keeper? I'm going too, the last thing I need is a broken jaw," Richie said.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"Duncan, why were you so hard on Amber earlier? She was only trying to help," Amanda said.  
  
"Yeah, well I'd rather wait until we're out of Germany for her to be helpful......Amanda, I'd like to find out how much this damn medallion is worth now, not in 3 weeks," Duncan said.  
  
"Well look on the bright side," Amanda said.  
  
"What's that?" Duncan asked.  
  
"That'll give us 3 weeks to catch up," Amanda told him.  
  
"Ah yes, I forgot what with all this nonsense."  
  
Duncan picked up the medallion opened the bedroom door and threw it out in the hall, anymore he didn't care what happened with it. Lately, he'd built up so much stress lately, he didn't care anymore, anymore, all he wanted was to be with Amanda.  
  
End of chapter 1 


	2. Hell House

Hell House  
  
Duncan and Amanda had been messing around for a couple of hours and had wore themselves out, Duncan looked over at the clock, 11:30.  
  
"I'm exhausted," Amanda said.  
  
"So am I, goodnight."  
  
"Goodnight."  
  
They hadn't been asleep for more than 2 minutes, they heard some crazy noise thumping.  
  
"What is that?" Duncan yawned.  
  
Duncan thought the noise was coming from someone's car, so he got up to look out the window.  
  
"I think it's what they call heavy metal," Amanda replied.  
  
Duncan pulled open 2 plates on the blinds and peered out the window.  
  
"Oh no," Duncan groaned.  
  
"What is it?" Amanda asked.  
  
"Get dressed."  
  
"What?"  
  
Outside, Duncan saw a pickup truck with 2 bright headlights pulling in the driveway.  
  
"What is it?" Amanda asked.  
  
"I don't know, but if this is some plan of Richie's, I'm killing him," Duncan said.  
  
Duncan headed downstairs already expecting an explanation for what was going on, by the time he reached the foot of the stairs, some rowdy, drunk teenagers already banged the door down and got in.  
  
"What in the? What's going on?"  
  
Duncan stepped in front of the doorway and got knocked down and thrown to the side of the room as more punks came in. Duncan practically peeled himself off the wall and looked around.  
  
"What in the? RICHIIIE!"  
  
"Yeah Mac?"  
  
"Richie, what in the hell's going on?" Duncan asked.  
  
"I don't know," Richie replied.  
  
"What do you mean you don't know?" Duncan asked.  
  
"I mean, I don't know, know don't I, don't I know, know I don't," Richie laughed.  
  
"RICHIE! I want to know where these people came from and I want to know NOW!" Duncan said.  
  
"You're asking the wrong guy," Richie told him.  
  
By now, everyone else was up, about and accounted for.  
  
"What is going on?" Joe asked.  
  
"That's what I wish somebody would tell me," Duncan replied.  
  
Duncan looked around, already the people had caused chaos, they were drunk, they had loud music blasting all over, some were swinging on the chandelier, others were jumping on the sofa, a couple was making out in the fireplace, some people were throwing their shoes at them, a bunch of them, had put a wash tub in the middle of the floor and were filling it up with beer, wine, margaritas, everything they could find.  
  
Half an hour later, Amber found Duncan in the kitchen.  
  
"There you are, I've been looking all over for you," she said.  
  
"I'm not surprised," Duncan responded, "Amber, did you invite the Beastie Boys over here?"  
  
"I?" Amber asked.  
  
"Yes, you," Duncan replied.  
  
"Hey, what're you drinking?" Amber asked.  
  
"A bloody mary, I need something to calm my nerves, this is insane!" Duncan said.  
  
"What're you talking about? Hey! Get your bloody lips off of Mary and talk, Duncan," Amber said.  
  
Duncan put the glass down and went back into the living room, it was even worse, there were people sliding on the floor and into the wash tub, burning cigarette butts all across the pool table, people dancing on the tables, and two teenagers were so drunk, they were duking it out with fireplace pokers.  
  
At that time, they heard something, Amanda headed over to what used to be the front door and saw even more vehicles drive up.  
  
"Looks like there's about 14 more," she said.  
  
"Oh, this is official," Duncan groaned, "this is a night of hell."  
  
Duncan got a better look of the place when those teenagers came in, it looked more like a Beastie Boys' video than anything, some guys were going through dirty magazines, other guys set them on fire with lighters, people were getting drunker than before, new people kept knocking down the door, a handful of college guys chased women around the place, and then everyone started throwing pies at each other, Richie got hit with about 9 of them, he staggered around, and used the back of a guy's shirt as a towel. There was loud music, intense screaming, a lower floor full of smoke and chaos, and that was teh last thing that Duncan could hoenstly remember before blacking out.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"Duncan........Duncan, wake up."  
  
Duncan's eyelids went up and he saw the face of a beautiful woman.  
  
"Well you're acting alive for a change," Amanda laughed.  
  
Duncan couldn't tell what happened last night at the party, but it must've been bad, half his face felt numb and his jaws hurt like someone punched him, on top of that, he was still exhausted.  
  
"Amanda, what's going on? What time is it?" Duncan asked.  
  
"9:00 AM," Amber came in with a first aid kit, "you were out of it for a while."  
  
"I had this awful dream, I dreamt that.....a bunch of people came here last night, got drunk and had this horrible party, that's pretty strange, isn't it, Amber?" Duncan started laughing.  
  
Amber took a small mirror off Duncan's wall and held it up to his face, he had black bruises and marks all over his face, sort of how he looked when he got blown up.  
  
"Oh God, the nightmare continues," Duncan fell down on the bed.  
  
"Amanda, I think you better leave for a while, I'll let you know when the patient is in suiting condition," Amber said.  
  
Amanda left the room and Amber closed the door, she took a few things out from the first aid kit and headed over to Duncan, "allright Mac, hold still for the exam."  
  
"What are you? Methos' assistant? When did you become a doctor?" Duncan asked.  
  
Amber pushed his chest and he fell down on the bed again, feeling like hell.  
  
"Since last night when you busted your jaw against the tub," Amber said.  
  
"The washtub full of beer?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Well I'm not talking about the one in the bathroom, and to answer your first question, I became his assistant since 6 o' clock when he got through with you," Amber said.  
  
"What did HE do to me?" Duncan sat up.  
  
"Just routine, really, gave you a few tetanus shots, removed the glass, sewed you up like Frankenstein," Amber explained.  
  
"What?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Around 3 when the party ended, some biiiiiig guy picked you up and threw you out the window," Amber said.  
  
"What happened at the party, Amber?" Duncan asked.  
  
"You got drunk during the party last night," Amber started.  
  
"And?" Duncan asked.  
  
"And you put a lamp shade on your head and started dancing," Amber added.  
  
"And then?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Then you threw up and passed out," Amber said.  
  
"Did I throw up on anyone we know?" Duncan asked.  
  
"No."  
  
"Let me rephrase that, did I throw up on ANYONE?" Duncan asked.  
  
"I don't think so, I jumped for the chandelier and Richie jumped 3 feet back, over the recliner and to the other side of the room."  
  
"And Methos?"   
  
"Methos was already passed out in the lounge, dead drunk."  
  
"And Joe?"  
  
"Joe stayed up all night cleaning his shoes in the sink, do you know how hard it is to get those stains out?" Amber asked.  
  
"Oh God.......what about Amanda?" Duncan asked.  
  
"No, Amanda had her hands full with someone else, some big guy, had about six hands, all reaching for her....like an octopus," Amber said.  
  
"And we still don't know who invited all those people," Duncan said.  
  
"Well, apparently someone had to leak out that there was a great big house up here stocked with a full liquor cabinet," Amber thought.  
  
"This reaks of Richie," Duncan mumbled.  
  
"No, actually that's coming from over there, while Methos stitched you up, I took the liberty of removing those rags, full of beer, blood, and glass, I just haven't gotten around to throwing them in the wash," Amber said.  
  
"I should hope you put me in something else," Duncan gripped the sheet.  
  
"Just another pair of boxers for the minute, I thought you would prefer finishing getting dressed yourself," Amber said.  
  
"Yes, thank you very much.......Amber, I'm sorry I exploded at you last night."  
  
"I understand, you thought maybe I could find someone closer than in Hawaii....and also someone it wouldn't take 22 days to get to...which reminds me."  
  
Amber went over to the dresser and came back with the medallion in her hand.  
  
"I found this just half an inch away from falling through the bars on the railing up here, we're lucky those maroons didn't stomp it to pieces," Amber told him.  
  
"That reminds me," Duncan groaned, "does the house look like hell?  
  
"Did, Duncan, did," Amber said, "right after 3 when they left, we started cleaning the joint up, of course we'll have to replace a few things."  
  
"Like what?" Duncan asked.  
  
"That coffee table that used to be in the living room, right next to where the sofa used to be for starters."  
  
"I remeber someone dancing on the table and breaking it, what happened to the couch?"  
  
"Someone got drunk and started chewing on the arms, after that.....I dont' recommend going into details," Amber said.  
  
"Anything else?" Duncan asked.  
  
"A new liquor cabinet, 2 new vases, a new pool table, the cigarettes ate away at that thing, and 1 new washtub," Amber said.  
  
"We didn't own that stupid washtub," Duncan raised his head.  
  
"I know, but still......."  
  
".......I still feel like crap, Amber, are you sure I just passed out and got thrown out a window?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Well.............."  
  
Amber sat down across the room, Duncan knew there was something else.  
  
"What is it?" Duncan asked.  
  
Amber avoided making eye contact with him and buried her face in her hands, Duncan thought she was crying, but he got a better look and realized she was trying not to laugh.  
  
"At 1:30, after you passed out," Amber choked, "Rick Ma'Roi, got drunk out of his mind.........picked your body up and started dancing around the room with it like that scene from Interview with a Vampire, where Lestat picked up Cladia's mother's corpse and danced around with her, said 'there's still life in the woman yet' and then threw her down."  
  
"So a guy picked me up and danced with me, what's so funny?" Duncan asked.  
  
"I told you, just like in the movie, the guy said 'there's still life in the old lady yet' and then he threw you down. Then his neighbor, Mr. Meakly picked you up and continued the dance," Amber said.  
  
"Anything else?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Just one thing, after that," Amber cracked, "I took a turn dancing with you myself."  
  
If Duncan wasn't so sore, he'd throw his hands in the air, swear a few French words and throw himself down on the bed again.  
  
"This is crazy, Amber, I feel like an idiot," Duncan said.  
  
Amber swiftly made her way back across the room and over to Duncan, he noticed a slight change in her personality, she was still slightly laughing and her hand calmly made its way across his stomach.  
  
"Well don't you worry about that," she said, "I think I might know a way to fix that."  
  
If Duncan didn't know any better, he'd swear she was flirting, as her cold hand made its way down a bit lower, Duncan shot up in bed.  
  
"Amanda!"  
  
Duncan jumped out of bed and into the closet to get dressed.  
  
"Is something wrong?" Amber asked.  
  
"No, no, no, nothing wrong," Duncan replied as he slipped into a pair of jeans, "just.....just go around the house and make sure that no one got drunk out of their mind and stayed here. I have to speak with Amanda alone."  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"She does what?" Amanda asked.  
  
"When I get knocked out or apparently knock myself out from getting drunk, she always does this, she always changes my clothes," Duncan said.  
  
"Would that include...."  
  
"That's usually the first place she starts at," Duncan told her.  
  
"Oh boy," Amanda laughed.  
  
"What?" Duncan asked.  
  
"I hate to tell you this but.....I think your friend is a......."  
  
"Tramp, slut, whore, bitch, ho, bimbo, I've heard them all," Amber came in.  
  
"Amber, what did I tell you?" Duncan asked.  
  
"I checked, no bum in the bathtub, no chowderhead in the kitchen, and other than you, no wino's gone flying out of any winda," Amber said.  
  
Duncan could tell Amanda was getting tired of the extreme lack of privacy, so he came up with a quick idea to get rid of Amber.  
  
"Amber, will you do me a favor?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Sure, what is it?" Amber asked.  
  
Duncan picked Amber up by the back of her shirt and the seat of her pants and headed to the door.  
  
"Well, I thought I saw one of those 6 foot long lizards under the living room sofa, could you do me a favor, go and beat the daylights out of it with a frying pan?"  
  
Duncan put Amber down and closed the door, "thank you."  
  
"Is she always like that?" Amanda asked.  
  
"Well, I've come to know she doesn't just barge in a room when she wants something," Duncan said.  
  
"How do you get any privacy around here?" Amanda asked.  
  
"I'd like to say I could," Duncan sighed, "she picks all the locks, took the bars out of a few windows, and she's got no problem with overexposure, I'm starting to see."  
  
"Apparently," Amanda sighed, "has she been taking biology?"  
  
"Well she did when we were still in New...........no, no! She doesn't take biology," Duncan said.  
  
"Well she must be taking something after what you just told me, how do you get ANY privacy with her being like that?"  
  
"Well fortunately for me she's like a tick, she can easily move onto someone else when she's done, there are 2 other people in this house she likes so......"  
  
"Men."  
  
"What?" Duncan asked.  
  
"2 other men in this house she likes," Amanda said, "and as far as I'm concerned, she can have at both of them, but she better stay away from you."  
  
"Oh come on Amanda, she doesn't have anything going on in her head," Duncan defended her.  
  
"I know what you're thinking," Amanda said.  
  
"Amanda, you know I don't think anything," Duncan replied.  
  
"Well that's becoming apparent, what does she do? Does she just come out of the blue when you start to settle down somewhere?" Amanda asked.  
  
"You wanted her here too, don't try and change the subject," Duncan said.  
  
"I wanted you and Richie and Joe and Methos here, I didn't know she was staying with you at the time," Amanda told him.  
  
"Well surprise, she is," Duncan said.  
  
"What did you do? Move in with you guys?" Amanda asked.  
  
"Amanda........never mind," Duncan said.  
  
"Sounds okay to me," Amanda said, "so, do you have any extra rooms in this house or are we going to have a repeat of last night?"   
  
"Yeah, yeah, I forgot what with all the excitement yesterday, come on, I'll help you unpack," Duncan grabbed Amanda's suitcases.  
  
End of chapter 2. 


	3. General Redstone

20 Days Notice  
  
A/N: I apologize for a problem with this story. It wasn't until I went over the chapters just recently that I realized this one got left out. Again I apologize, and I hope you'll find this one entertaining as well.  
  
"Allright Amanda, I think that's everything," Duncan said.  
  
"Wonderful."  
  
"Something wrong?" Duncan asked.  
  
"No, it's just that......this house seems so weird...."  
  
"Well it is well over a hundred years old, and we just got here a few days ago," Duncan said, "its bound to be that way."  
  
"This house isn't going to fall apart on us, is it?" Amanda asked.  
  
"Not a chance, it was built to last against anything, of course back then we didn't have to worry about nuclear missiles and flame throwers," Duncan replied.  
  
Duncan went back into his room and found a note on the bed, it was clenched in a small dagger, Duncan grabbed the letter, it read: Duncan, I have decided although you've made me like family, I must leave temporarily, so I'm leaving for the next 20 days. I'm taking the medallion with me for safe keeping, until we leave for Hawaii, don't worry, I've learned well enough how to keep my head by now, I'll be back. Don't make any plans, don't leave town until I get back, signed Amber. P.S. I hope earlier didn't interfere with your lovelife with Amanda.  
  
"Wonderful," Duncan crumpled the note, "first she steals my clothes while I'm knocked out, now she's run away with that damn medallion."  
  
By now, he knew she had a habit of picking up and leaving, but without so much as an explanation.  
  
[I was hoping that if he was going to take off, she'd leave that medallion here,] Duncan thought.   
  
He had hoped she'd leave it so he could study it, it seemed to be more to it than it was, apparently, but he just couldn't stop thinking that there was more to it than they thought.  
  
"Hey Mac."  
  
"What is it, Rich?"  
  
"Where's Amanda?"  
  
"I don't know, isn't she in her room?" Duncan asked.  
  
"No, actually that's something I want to ask you about," Richie said.  
  
"What?"   
  
"Well, I found this in her room, it looks like someone had made blueprints of that medallion," Richie handed Duncan a set of old papers that had exact details and descriptions for the medallion, "they were sticking out of a book she brought with her."  
  
"Richie, were you spying in Amanda's room?" Duncan asked.  
  
"No Mac, I swear, I wasn't spying," Richie raised his right hand.  
  
"Allright Bright Eyes, then what would you call it?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Snooping, anyway...as it turns out, it was made in 1939 when WWII first started, it was made for a general who was killed shortly afterwards, but if you look closely, it has his initials engraved on it, but they're not in German," Richie explained.  
  
Duncan took a look at the blueprints, the medallion itself was so old, all he did see on it was the outlining of the initials.  
  
"You're right, they're not," Duncan realized.  
  
"I'm not sure what they are, but off top of my head, I'm guessing it's Greek," Richie suggested.  
  
"Even if it is Greek, so what?" Joe asked.  
  
"Joe, consider this, WWII was mainly pointed at Adolf Hitler, a German soldier, general, dictator, whichever you like to call him. There were endless battles between people from all over, but when in the world was there anyone Greek in it?" Duncan asked.  
  
"The guy this thing was meant for was killed shortly after the war started, so I doubt it would've made any records," Joe replied.  
  
"Still, something strange about it all, and look, the whole thing was mainly bronze, so why would someone want to give us $3,000 for it? Seriously.....I know Amber isn't an idiot, but I think we're screwed with this deal," Duncan said.  
  
"Well, she's going to be gone for 3 weeks, I say we enjoy it," Joe said.  
  
"You're really enthusiastic about this, aren't you?" Duncan asked.  
  
"I'm gonna break out the champagne," Joe headed for the kitchen.  
  
"I'll take that as a yes," Duncan exhaled.  
  
"Boy, whoever had that medallion must've either been a genius, or on speed," Richie said, "to make it such a mystery."  
  
"And since Amber's got it, we can't be too sure of its current condition, so we'll have to wait 20 days to see about that."  
  
"I have a question, if that thing's so awful in condition, how come that guy's trying to offer us so much for it?" Richie asked.  
  
"I don't know," Duncan said.  
  
Richie went over the blueprints again and made a discovery.  
  
"Looks like that thing was meant to open, that thing was huge, maybe the inside was used to carry secret battle plans to the battlefield," Richie said.  
  
"I doubt that," Duncan said, "but it does look like something was meant to be put in the external space."  
  
Richie looked up and gave Duncan quite the look, he was annoying enough already, when he started trying to talk somewhat intelligent really got on his nerves.  
  
"Didn't your mother ever tell you if you make a face like that, it'll stick that way?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Only when you start sounding smart," Richie told him, "which I might add doesn't come around too often."  
  
Duncan didn't really give a damn too much on what they found out about the medallion, but Richie seemed to be more than anxious to find out. He'd gotten his hands on the blueprints and went over them in his room.  
  
"Richie, I don't know how to tell you this, but if you don't give your eyes a break, they're going to keep moving back and forth like windshield wipers, even when you're through reading," Duncan said.  
  
"My eyes already hurt, I swear, I'm starting to change my mind on this. Now I'm starting to think whoever made this thing was either a criminal mastermind or he worked with H.G. Wells in one lifetime if not another," Richie said.  
  
"Quite the brains, huh?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Quite the bitch is more like it, I can't figure out anymore on this thing than I did 4 hours ago, I'm starting to think the person who had this made knew someone else would find it and the prints, I think they did it to torture them!" Richie exclaimed.  
  
"We can worry about this another time, if you keep it up, that vein in your forehead's going to blow," Duncan laughed.  
  
As Duncan turned around and left, he heard Richie mumbled a bunch of swearing in French.  
  
"What was that?" Duncan turned around.  
  
"Pardon my French," Richie smirked.  
  
Since Richie had picked up foreign languages, he loved giving a new meaning to that phrase. Well, Duncan thought, everybody needs a hobby I suppose.   
  
However, he'd have to make sure Richie didn't exercise his 'hobby' in public, otherwise they might both get arrested.  
  
Richie had strained his eyes and his mind with the blueprints for so long, he completely wore himself out, by 11:00, he was knocked out like a light.  
  
[Good thing too,] Duncan thought, [the last thing we need is the Hell's Angels coming through here again.]  
  
Yeah, Duncan was still bunched up about last night, even though they never did find out who was responsible, just about every bone in his body told him Richie was responsible.  
  
[He's just lucky he's too old to be punished, otherwise I would've taken him over my knee and spanked him till he couldn't sit down.]  
  
Come to think of it, once Duncan thought about that one a few times, maybe it STILL wouldn't be such a bad idea.  
  
Richie obviously seemed to be out of it, he didn't snore, he didn't turn over, he didn't wake up to Duncan making weird gestures while hovering over him, and he didn't respond to the door shutting either. However, come midnight when Duncan was asleep, Richie got up, turned on a small light and started at the prints again. He knew by now that Duncan was pretty much dead to the world, so he wouldn't have anymore interruptions with his investigation.  
  
End of chapter 3. 


	4. The Return

General Redstone  
  
"Get up..........wake up."  
  
"What is it?"   
  
Richie got up and got a look at his surroundings, he was in a military base for the time being, today he was shipping out for the war.  
  
"Seven hundred hours, time to bail out," General Collins told him.  
  
"Right."  
  
Richie still had trouble with his daily routine, every day when he got suited up and saluted, he narrowly missed stabbing himself in the nose with his bayonet.  
  
"Remember why you're fighting today?" Collins asked.  
  
"To avenge the death of my father against that bastard," Richie answered.  
  
"Don't you forget it, you entered this war of your own will, I can't tell you where to go from here," Collins told him.  
  
"I know where to go from here," Richie said, "right to the enemy base."  
  
Richie made sure the blade on the bayonet hadn't dulled, the last thing he needed was to stick it to Hitler's back, only to have it merely poke him. With the blade sharp as a guilotine and a loaded pistol rammed down in his pocket, he left.  
  
He and 500 other soldiers were leaving today to enter the war, the every thought of dying came upon Richie, the knots in his stomach turned to rocks, he knew hell would go down today. As the soldier's left the base, they had to be identified to make sure they weren't Nazi spies.  
  
"Your name?" Sergeant Hollingsworth asked.  
  
"Richard Redstone."  
  
"Redstone, let's see here......Blepe be eseis etoimos eis synsnto arthro trela apo aftos kai kerdizo?" Sergeant Hollingsworth asked.  
  
"I've encountered the madness of this war since Hitler killed my father, emeis blepe etoimos gia Hitler's thanatos," Richie replied.  
  
"Then go out, get him, and come back alive," Hollingsworth told him.  
  
"I have every intention to," Richie said.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
In less than an hour, the recruits were ready to ship out, some were taking off in tanks, others werey taking off in the air, Richie was one of the paratroopers, he planned to drop in on Hitler with a big surprise, he was going to be the one to sign his death warrant.  
  
It took 2 hours to reach the bomb shelter Hitler was last seen at, the soldiers dropped from the plane, ripping the cords on their parachutes and already shooting at every enemy in sight, once Richie dropped to the ground, he tore off his chute and busted into the shelter like a raging bull, when he found Hitler, he was ready to cut his guts off with the bayonet. However the Nazis had different plans for him, 2 beat him over the head with their guns and dragged his body out to the battlefield near a ditch. Hitler came out and jerked him up by his collar, Richie was barely conscious, and apparently about to be put out of his misery.  
  
"Sagen Abschid nehmen, Mistkerl!" Hitler spat.  
  
Hitler took out a handgun and shot Richie, but he didn't die, then they threw his body into the ditch and started throwing dirt on him. They were burying him alive! Richie got all his strength together, climbed out of the ditch, pulled a gun out of his pocket and shot the 2 fellow Nazis and their leader. But not before Hitler shot at him again, this time it was in the heart, Richie fell back in the ditch and saw people covering it up, burying him!  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Richie let out a final scream and shot up in bed, what a dream, if that was anything like what Brian Font had to encounter.....  
  
"Richie, are you okay?" Amanda came in.  
  
"Yeah," Richie exhaled.  
  
"What happened? I heard you screaming," Amanda said.  
  
"I...I....I don't know where to begin, I feel like I'm high, I'm confused I don't know where to start.....I...I had this strange dream, that I was a soldier in the war, just like Brian Font, we boarded a plane and went to the battlefield, and I busted in the bomb shelter and was ready to tear his guts out with a bayonet. All of a sudden, there're these two Castopo beating on me, dragging me out to a ditch, Hitler shot me and then they tried to bury me alive.......Oh boy, I had to say all that again, I'd probably rip my hair out. Where's Mac?"  
  
"Out....why?"  
  
"If he knew I was in his room earlier reading those books, he'd kill me. He's already given me a warning for trespassing in this house."  
  
"Why'd he do that? You're more or less a grown man."  
  
"Maybe so, but Mac's still got the final decision on what goes on in this house..."  
  
"So you're back to picking locks, huh?"  
  
"Well I wouldn't say I really quit in the first place, it's just that for a short amount of time, Mac knew where I kept my picks and....shall we say he confiscated them?"  
  
"What were you doing in his room in the first place?" Amanda asked.  
  
"He's got these books on soldiers from the war, he didn't want me to read them cuz he said I'm concentrating on this whole thing too much too soon as is. But I was anxious to find out who the hell Brian Font was and why he entered the war," Richie said.  
  
"And did you find out?"  
  
"Yeah, his dad was Jewish, Hitler killed him for it, and Brian entered the war to avenge his death.......and.....if he encountered in the war what I did in my dream......boy I feel sorry for him," Richie sighed, "going to a war he probably didn't even give a damn about just to avenge that Nazi pig gutting his father like a kippur."  
  
"How did you know that?" Amanda asked.  
  
"Know what?" Richie sat up.  
  
"How his father was killed, did you read that too?" Amanda asked.  
  
"No, I didn't know how he got killed.....it just came out.......that wasn't even what I was thinking......so how did I know it?"  
  
"I don't know," Amanda said.  
  
"Oh.....come on, that had to be a lucky guess, a stab in the dark.......what am I talking about?"  
  
After remaining quiet for a minute, Richie threw on his jacket and ran downstairs.  
  
"Richie, where're you going?" Amanda asked.  
  
However, all she got was a door slam in response, Richie hopped on his motorcycle and took off.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"So MacLeod, what're you up to these days? I hardly hear from ya."  
  
Duncan was visiting a friend of his, Kent Harris, he refused to leave Germany so the only time he and Duncan got reacquainted was when he came to Germany either on business or vacation. He caught him at an antique shop a few miles from his house, the place wasn't so good, but better than nothing.  
  
"Well I've been busy, you wouldn't believe some of the things I've been up to," Duncan said.  
  
"Like all those drunks stampeding through your house the other night?" Kent asked.  
  
"How did you know that?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Well I arranged it, found out that's where you were and....."  
  
"Then why didn't you come over?" Duncan asked.  
  
"I did, you were just too drunk to remember," Kent said.  
  
"Wait a minute, you weren't one of the fools dancing with me, were you?" Duncan asked.  
  
"No."  
  
"Good."  
  
"You cut in with my date," Kent told him.  
  
"Oh, no hard feelings with her, I hope," Duncan said.  
  
"No, you weren't dancing with her, YOU were dancing WITH me," Kent told him.  
  
"Oh boy, I must've been drunk.......wait a minute, why'd you have all those people come over?" Duncan asked.  
  
"It was a welcoming party, I didn't know you were in the week before that, when I found out where you were staying, I rounded up everyone and we headed over there," Kent said.  
  
"What? Those people threw their shoes at us!" Duncan said.  
  
"That was afterwards, before that, everybody ran around shaking your hands," Kent told him.  
  
"Well that would make sense, that night I dreamt I was a politician."  
  
"Of course, at the time they were already drunk, which might explain why everyone, including the guys kissed you," Kent said.  
  
"They what?" Duncan asked.  
  
"I can't believe you don't remember any of this, that was before you got drunk," Kent told him.  
  
Kent went into the back room as Duncan heard what sounded like a motorcycle crash into garbage cans, and Richie came in vibrating and with his helmet in hand.  
  
"Richie, what're you doing down here? Bowling?" Duncan laughed.  
  
"No, I was..."  
  
"Body checking yourself into the garbage?"  
  
"Mac, I just---------look, I need to talk to you about those books you got on the WWII soldiers," Richie said.  
  
"What about?" Duncan aksed.  
  
"What about what?" Kent came up front again.  
  
"Kent, this is my friend Richie Ryan," Duncan introduced them.  
  
"Oh yeah, I remember you, you were that hooligan at the party, giving a teenaged girl hickies," Kent laughed.  
  
"Look Mac, I have to talk to you now."  
  
"Allright, look Kent, sorry to draw this short, I'll come by tomorrow and we can pick up where we left off," Duncan said.  
  
"Suit yourself!" Kent hollered.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"I'm telling you Mac, if I'm right about this and his father was gutted like a fish and he was shot and buried alive.....either I've got something going on here, or I've gone completely crazy," Richie said.  
  
"That does it, I'm calling Connor to see if he knows anything about this, it'll be the only way to get any rest with you babbling on like this," Duncan told him.  
  
Duncan picked up the phone and dialed Connor's number, latley he was staying in Europe, up to something, probably finding another trophy for his mantel or something of the sort.  
  
"Well?" Richie asked.  
  
"It's his answering machine.......Hello Connor, it's Duncan, look, when you get this message, could you give me a call? I need to find out something about a guy named Brian Font and I figured maybe you knew him at the time. At the moment I'm in Germany, the number is..."  
  
"796-273-1744."  
  
"Right..." Duncan said, "huh?"  
  
"What is it?" Richie asked.  
  
"His answering machine answered me!" Duncan exclaimed, "Connor, I don't know what you're pulling, but you better.........now he's done it, he's got me so mad I'm talking to his answering machine!"  
  
Duncan slammed the receiver and dropped the phone back on the table.   
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
The next 2 weeks was crazy, Duncan repeatedly tried to get Connor, but always got the answering machine, and Richie had pretty much lost interest in the Brian Font case by then, and Amanda was growing bored with Duncan always acting like a stick in the mud.  
  
One day, Richie dialed up Connor's number to see if he could get him, he put it on speaker and held the receiver about 3 inches away from the phone, and all he heard was Connor's phone ringing.  
  
"Figures."  
  
Richie threw the phone down and a sudden buzz came over him, there was an Immortal nearby.  
  
"Hey Mac, Mac!"  
  
"I know Richie, I know, I'm coming."  
  
Duncan came down the stairs with his katana ready, and Richie's sword as well.  
  
"You expecting company?" Richie asked.  
  
"No....which is why I'm worried, let's go."  
  
Duncan and Richie headed out the front door and couldn't believe what they saw.  
  
End of chapter 3 


	5. Hawaiian Hell

The Return  
  
"Connor what're you doing here!?" Duncan asked.  
  
Connor stepped out of his truck and slammed the door.  
  
"You asked me if I knew anything about Brian Font, I decided to tell you in person," Connor said.  
  
"Not that, her!"  
  
Amber jumped out of the passenger seat in Connor's truck and slammed the door so hard, it almost fell off its hinges.  
  
"Funny thing," Amber said, "I met him in Europe during my 20 day absence," Amber said.  
  
"You 2 had this planned? That's why you never returned any calls?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Yep, we decided to come over and surprise you, see if we could give you a heart attack," Connor said.  
  
"Connor, I can't have a heart attack!" Duncan told him.  
  
"I know, that's the fun part," Connor said.  
  
"Amber, I know I'm going to regret asking, but how in the hell did you and Connor come up with this?" Richie asked.  
  
"Long story, I'll explain later," Amber said.  
  
"Wait a minute, when you took off, you got out of here on your motorcycle, where is it?" Richie asked.  
  
"In the back of the truck, where else?" Amber asked.  
  
Connor took his bags out of the back and headed over to Duncan.  
  
"Where did you meet this psycho?" he asked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"When we met, she beat me to a pulp and threw me on the ground if you can believe that," Connor told him.  
  
"Yeah, I was about to behead him when I realized who he was," Amber said.  
  
"Well, don't feel too bad, Connor, when Mac first taught her how to fight, she flipped him on the ground and was ready to pierce his nose," Richie laughed.  
  
"Shutup," Duncan said under his breath.  
  
"Duncan, what's going on?" Amanda called from the house.  
  
"It's okay, it's just Connor and Amber!" Duncan replied.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"Brian Font, real smart but...not very old when he was killed, only around 19 at the time...his father had converted to the Jewish religion recently, when Hitler found out, he pretty much cut his guts off with a rock...Brian had a raging temper at the time, he practically threw himself into the war, they didn't have to draft him. He and about 4 other soldiers had planned to drop in the middle of the battlefield near the bombshelter where he was hiding out. They busted into the place ready to kill him, when several other Nazis shot them and dragged them out to the battlefield, there was a large, deep ditch nearby, they killed them all, threw them in and buried them," Connor said.  
  
"So much for my theory," Richie said.  
  
"Not quite, they killed the other 4 paratroopers for sure, but they weren't too certain on Font's case, Hitler was a coward, he didn't want to take any chances so he killed him one way or another," Connor added.  
  
"But what about the medallion?" Richie asked.  
  
Amber put the medallion on the table, Connor observed it for a few seconds.  
  
"It was given to him by his fiance, she hoped he'd come back alive and they could get married... she had it made by some guy, real creative with his hands, good friend of mine, should be about 290 by now," Connor said.  
  
"What about the inside?" Richie asked.  
  
"The inside of it was to carry 2 things, one was a drawn out battle plan that led to the bomb shelter," Connor told him.  
  
"And, if you had any brains, you would've opened it when we first found it and realized what was in it."  
  
Amber cracked the medallion open, revealing a large diamond in it.  
  
"What in the heck is that?" Richie asked.  
  
"That, is a diamond, and I got a feeling this should make the medallion more than its estimated value," Amber said.  
  
"I've been wondering, why are we going to Hawaii? Why can't he just make the deal with us already?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Because, I spoke to him over the phone about its details, and he said it sounded expensive, but he'd have to see it up close and personal to figure out how much it's really worth," Amber said.  
  
"That thing cost $75 when it was made, and of course, back in 1939, $75 was nothing to sneeze at you do realize," Connor said.  
  
"And this guy's giving us over $3,000 for it in its current condition," Duncan realized.  
  
"Hey Connor, are you gonna come with us to Hawaii when we go see this guy?" Richie asked.  
  
"Sure am," Connor pulled an airline ticket out of his jacket, "got my ticket right here."  
  
"Wonderful, he's coming too," Duncan said.  
  
"Yep, let's see that's 7 of us leaving in 2 days," Amber said.  
  
"2 days?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Should be somewhere around there," Amber told him, "it's certainly been long enough."  
  
"Wonderful, but if they try and put me in a grass skirt, I'm out of there," Richie said.  
  
"The skirt's nothing to worry about, it's if they try to put you into a coconut bra you have to worry, those things will leave rashes and marks for days, and the chafing is awful," Amber told him.  
  
"You ever been in one?" Richie asked.  
  
"Nope, and I don't intend to be, my chest has enough problems as is," Amber said.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
The next day, the tickets arrived, and they were off to Hawaii, apparently Johnny knew something, he reserved a private plane for them, on the way over, Duncan still couldn't believe it.  
  
"We're going to Hawaii to talk to a guy about a German medallion, knowing our luck, he'll probably pay us in coconuts," Duncan sighed.  
  
"Oh stop being such a grouch," Amanda told him.  
  
While they had a long conversation, Amber and Richie were trying to fade them out while they tried cramming together in a headset.  
  
"Do you believe this? 10,000 feet in the air and they start at this," Richie said.  
  
"Yeah, if the rebound gets kinky, I don't care if I have to shove carrots in my ears, I'm not listening to them, when they make up for a fight, there's so much moaning and huffing and puffing it's like.......a bad movie on cable," Amber told him.  
  
"So about how long should it take for us to reach Hawaii?" Richie asked.  
  
"Let's see, we should get there at around 3:00," Amber said.  
  
"3.....3 hours? This is some fast flight," Richie said.  
  
"No no no, not 3 our time, 3 their time," Amber said.  
  
"AM or PM?" Richie asked.  
  
"PM, I just wish I was back in New Jersey," Amber said.  
  
"Why?" Richie asked.  
  
"Well, I'd know for sure what time it'd be our time, over there I know it's 8 o' clock," Amber said.  
  
"How do you know?" Richie asked.  
  
"Never mind, if you ask again, I'm ripping your throat out," Amber said.  
  
"That's how, huh?" Richie laughed.  
  
Amber looked across the aisle where Joe and Methos were, Methos looked bored out of his mind (probably would look better if he were drunk) and Joe just looked anxious to land.  
  
"A guy steps on a landmine, he's probably glad to stay on ground the rest of his days," Amber guessed.  
  
"What?" Richie asked.  
  
"Nothing," Amber said, "just tell me one thing, when we're in Hawaii, are you going to make a ridiculous show of trying to meet girls in sarongs and bra tops and leis?" Amber asked.  
  
"That just depends," Richie said, "any idea how the women in Hawaii look?"  
  
Amber looked at Richie for a minute and said nothing, she exhaled and rested her head back against her seat.  
  
"Morons," she sighed, "I'm surrounded by morons...."  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
The plane came to a sound land, and everyone couldn't wait to get off, over at the baggage claim, Joe waited patiently until Duncan came around.  
  
"What's going on, Joe?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Do you remember that commercial where they throw a suitcase in the gorilla cage at the zoo, and he picks it up and throws it around tries to rip it apart and then runs out of the cage?" Joe asked.  
  
"Yeah, why?" Duncan asked.  
  
"That's what I feel like doing, they lost our luggage," Joe said.  
  
"What?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Something the matter?" Amanda asked.  
  
"Uh....yeah, they lost our baggage," Duncan said.  
  
"Who did?" Amanda asked.  
  
"Who?" Duncan repeated, "Baggage claim!"  
  
"The claim never got to your baggage, they have it," Amanda pointed.  
  
Up came Amber, Richie and Methos, Methos had his suitcase with him, Richie and Amber were carrying theirs, and everyone elses', looking like a couple of pack mules.  
  
"Well now I've seen everything," Joe laughed.  
  
"So, any idea where exactly we're supposed to meet they pineapple upside-down cake?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Not really, he told me that he reserved a suite for us and he'll call us when he's ready to meet us," Amber said.  
  
"You said you've done business with this guy before, right?" Richie asked.  
  
"Right, why?" Amber asked.  
  
"I just wanna make sure we're getting his honest word on this thing's value," Richie said.  
  
"It's as honest as it'll get with his business," Amber told him.  
  
"Wonderful, well, let's go find out where that nectarine reserved us," Duncan grabbed his suitcase.  
  
And then immediately fell to the floor with it, there was something heavy in it that he didn't pack, he unbuckled his suitcase, and 2 fresh pineapples fell out.  
  
"Amber," Duncan looked up.  
  
"That wasn't me, I'd pack real hand grenades, not these things," Amber said.  
  
"Richie," Duncan turned his neck up more.  
  
"I was wondering why my suitcase was so light all of a sudden," Richie said.  
  
Duncan brought his head down on one of the pineapples, turning it into a squash, this was going to be a very hectic vacation, he could already tell.  
  
End of chapter 4 


	6. Punishment Verdict

Hawaiian Hell  
  
They got settled into the Hot Hot Hut Hotel in the Tiki Tiki Suites, they were exhausted.  
  
"And how," Amber said as she fell down on the bed, "all that pushing and shoving, getting pinched from half a dozen horny guys in tiiiiiiiny sarongs....It's just like the Blue Oyester Bar."  
  
"The what?" Richie asked.  
  
"Never mind," Amber said, "Richie...."  
  
"What?"  
  
"There's a problem here," Amber told him.  
  
"What problem?" Richie asked.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"There's only one bed here, a double bed, you know what that means?" Methos asked.  
  
"Yeah, if we had something in here like with the Pit and the Pendelum, we could have twin beds," Joe laughed.  
  
However, Methos just looked at him with a stern look, like he was going to place a curse on him.  
  
"Allright, allright, we'll compromise, when you change, I'll leave the room," Joe said.  
  
"That works for me."  
  
"And when I change?" Joe started.  
  
"I'll leave town," Methos told him.  
  
"Look, I'm not too hot on having to share a hotel room with you either, but we won't be staying for probably more than a few days, so I say we just make the best of it," Joe said.  
  
"Fine with me," Methos responded.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"Some room," Duncan opened his suitcase.  
  
"I'm surprised they didn't board up the windows," Amanda said.  
  
"Look Amanda, you heard the bellhop, they had a problem during the last rainstorm and there's still some water damage, but it's nothing to get bent out of shape over," Duncan told her, "besides, it's not like we're living here, only visiting for a while."  
  
"4 o' clock, I'm going to call room service, I should just hope the phones work," Amanda said.  
  
"I should hope it's not made out of coconuts," Duncan replied.  
  
As Duncan unpacked, he felt something hard in his bed, it looked like a lump, so he pushed it down, and it stayed inflated, so, he tried sitting on the lump, it poked his backside. He shot off the bed and onto the rug, then he pulled the covers back, there was a lobster in his bed, well alive on top of that.  
  
"I'm really starting to hate it here," Duncan mumbled to himself.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"Come on Richie, come out of there," Amber called.  
  
Richie had locked himself in the room, they had planned to get dressed like the local residents and go see the island, but Richie was starting to have second thoughts.  
  
"Not going," Richie replied.  
  
"Why not?" Amber asked.  
  
"I'm assuming you took sex ed. in school, you know why!" Richie responded.  
  
"Richie, you didn't mind seeing me in one," Amber said.  
  
"That was different," Richie called back.  
  
"Don't be so ridiculous, you look fine, now come on."  
  
Amber kicked the door in and dragged Richie out, he was wearing a red Hawaiian shirt and a matching red sarong.  
  
"I feel like a jackass, Amber," Richie said.  
  
"Surely you've worn something similiar before, have you not?" Amber asked.  
  
"Sure, but that was on Halloween, and it wasn't this short," Richie said.  
  
"So what you're saying is at Halloween you..."  
  
"Cross dressed, allright?" Richie asked.  
  
"Don't be dumb, Richie, a sarong is a unisex piece of clothing, either gender could wear it," Amber told him.  
  
"Yeah, well not with my 'genders'," Richie muttered, "I'm not going anywhere looking like this."  
  
Richie jiggered with the knob to his room, they were locked out.  
  
"Wonderful," Richie said.  
  
Two male guests wandered by and whistled, Richie turned bright red in the face.  
  
"You see Amber? Now what's everyone gonna think?" Richie asked.  
  
Amber gave Richie the key, he unlocked the door and went in.  
  
"Oh give me a break, Rich, they weren't looking at you, if they were, they weren't paying attention to your sarong," Amber said.  
  
"You mean they're....."  
  
"I wouldn't say they're queer, if anyone still uses that phrase, but who's to know? Now come on Rich, we came here to make a few grand and have a good time, let's go," Amber yanked him by his arm.  
  
"I don't get it, why is it you're wearing shorts and I'm wearing a skirt?" Richie asked.  
  
"Because your legs look better wearing one, let's go!" Amber said.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
At that exact time, the phone in Duncan and Amanda's room, the phones in Joe and Methos' room, the phone in Amber and Richie's room and the phone in the hallway rung.  
  
"HELLO?" everyone asked.  
  
"GET OFF THE LINE!" they added, "HELLO? HELLO? HELLO!?"  
  
"Hello, who am I speaking with?" the voice asked.  
  
"Duncan MacLeod/Richie Ryan/Joe Dawson/Amber Jenzen," they replied.  
  
"I beg your pardon, could you give me your names one at a time?" the voice asked.  
  
"You sound familiar," Amber said, "who is this?"  
  
"Is there an Amber Jenzen there?" the voice asked.  
  
"This is she who's speaking?" Amber asked.  
  
"Johnny O' Neil."  
  
"Wonderful, where do you want to meet us?" Amber asked.  
  
"I was thinking the Shish-Kabob Sizzler in half an hour, do you know where that is?" Johnny asked.  
  
"If we're going down there, I'm gonna have to change before we leave," Richie said.  
  
"Please hold Johnny," Amber lowered the receiver, "RICHIE GET OFF THE PHONE!"  
  
That just about shattered Johnny, Duncan, Joe and Richie's eardrums.  
  
"We'll be there, you should be able to recognize us, we're gonna be the only pack that has a teenager, a rebel, a shop-a-holic, an old fool, and a bunch of.....uh-oh, I forgot," Amber put her hand on the receiver.  
  
"Is there a problem, Amber?" Johnny asked.  
  
"No, no, we'll be there, bye!"  
  
"Amber, what's going on?" Duncan came out of his room.  
  
"Which room is Connor staying in?" Amber asked.  
  
"D15," Connor said.  
  
"I---------what's the big idea?" Amber turned around.  
  
"I don't know, why're you looking for me?" Connor asked.  
  
"Do you want to come with us when we go get the money for the medallion?" Amber asked.  
  
"Thanks but no thanks, I've been traveling for the last 4 days, I'm going to stay here and relax for a while," Connor said.  
  
"Suit yourself," Duncan said.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
4:30 at the Shish-Kabob Sizzler, as they walked in, everyone started to notice a problem.  
  
"Anybody make any new rivals lately?" Amber asked.  
  
No one could figure out who the Immortal was that was nearby, everyone seemed to be minding their own business, no one seemed to be looking for them.  
  
"Uh oh," Duncan said.  
  
"What is it?" Amber asked.  
  
Duncan pointed to a table across the room, "is that Johnny O' Neil?"  
  
"Yeah, why?"  
  
"Why? Amber, are you an idiot? He's the Immortal!" Duncan said.  
  
"Him? And you and me and Richie and Methos and Connor and Amanda, and we're all here, what is this a convention?" Amber asked.  
  
"Ah, Amber!"  
  
Johnny got up and came towards them.  
  
"Hey Johnny, looks like you forgot to tell me something," Amber said.  
  
"What?" Johnny asked, "Oh.......this....me....I..I....I forgot to tell you about that, well you didn't remind me about you either."  
  
"Hey the last time I saw you I wasn't Immortal.....well actually I was, but I didn't know...uh say hello to everyone that's Duncan and Amanda, Joe, Methos and Richie."  
  
After 15 minutes of getting acquainted with everyone, they sat at the table for the deal.  
  
"Allright Johnny, here it is," Amber pulled the medallion out of her shirt, "what's the best you can give me for it?"  
  
Johnny observed the medallion, opened it and observed the diamond inside, and came to a conclusion.  
  
"Apparently I greatly underestimated the value of this...it's worth at least $20,000."  
  
"20 thousand?" Duncan spit his drink out through his nose, "what makes it so expensive? Just because it had a diamond in it."  
  
"There's a diamond inside, this green surface on the outside is an approx. 18kt emerald."  
  
Johnny took out his book and wrote a check and handed it to Amber, Amber handed it to Richie, Richie handed it to Amanda, Amanda handed it to Methos, Methos handed it to Joe, and Joe handed it to Duncan.  
  
"This is in dollars?"  
  
"No, crawfish, of course dollars," Johnny said, "and if you still have your doubts about me, there's a bank not too far from here, you can find out for yourself."  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"Twenty thousand dollars, I don't believe it," Duncan said.  
  
"I don't believe it either, what are we going to do with it?" Amanda asked.  
  
"Well I know one thing I'm going to do with it," Duncan said.  
  
"What?" Amanda asked.  
  
Duncan put part of it in his pocket and headed over to Richie's room, he knocked on the door, hoping he wasn't going to walk in on something he'd regret.  
  
"Come in," Amber called.  
  
Duncan went in and saw Amber with soap all over her face, with a razor, standing in front of a mirror.  
  
"Amber, what're you doing?" Duncan laughed.  
  
"Shaving."  
  
"You shave?"  
  
"Once a month."  
  
"Why don't you shave in the bathroom?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Richie's in there...taking a bath, I think...he ain't coming out for a while," Amber said.  
  
"Maybe he's had a drink of magnesia," Duncan laughed.  
  
"Or maybe he ate a prune!" Amber laughed.  
  
"Or maybe he's constipated," Duncan added.  
  
"Or maybe he's experimenting with himself, but I know this much, part of the reason he ain't coming out is cuz he's still mad at me for making him wear a sarong in public," Amber said.  
  
"Why did you do that?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Just to see what happened, although some people found it attractive," Amber told him.  
  
"Preferbly not the men," Duncan said.  
  
"No, actually a few thought he looked good, but he did meet a woman named Melaina who was interested in him," Amber said.  
  
"So why's he sore at you?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Well, after that, he came back here and a bunch of people started making cross-dressing remarks....why're you in here?" Amber asked.  
  
"Well, I figured that since Richie did find all that information on the medallion and you did find that dealer, it's only fair to entitle you 2 to part of the money, $5,000 each," Duncan said.  
  
"Sounds fair to me, I'll be sure and tell him when he comes out," Amber said.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
The next couple of days wasn't so good, they got rained in and couldn't find a plane heading out anytime soon, so on the bright side for Richie, that gave him more time to spend with Melaina.  
  
"Those two spend anymore time together and they'll be joined at the hip," Amber said.  
  
"Do I sense a trace of jealousy?" Methos asked.  
  
"Please, Richie doesn't interest me in the least," Amber replied.  
  
At that time, Duncan came into the room looking like a bag of plaster hit him in the face.  
  
"Amber, did you know that yesterday, there was a lobster in my bed?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Yeah, Amanda told me all about it," Amber said.  
  
"Ah, so you decided to go ahead and put it back in my bed while I was sleeping, huh?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Hey, I didn't know you slept in the nude, if I knew, I wouldn't have put it in the middle," Amber told him.  
  
"When that thing pinched me, I jumped for the ceiling and insolation rained on me, I look like I went through a wall," Duncan told her.  
  
"Well, you could've fooled me, you just look like you got stuffed in the flour bin," Amber laughed.  
  
Duncan looked at her for the longest time and tried to decide what to do with her, finally, he got an idea, he grabbed her and took her upstairs into his room and shut the door.  
  
End of chapter 5 


	7. Punishment Verdict

Punishment Verdict  
  
Richie had called his date with Melaina short, her boss told her if she kept flirting on the job, he'd fire her, so Richie headed back up to his hotel room. When he went in, he saw Amber lying on the bed, pretty much out of it, like she had a hangover or something.  
  
"Hey Amber, what's going on?"   
  
As Richie said that, he jokingly planted a fair whack to Amber's butt.  
  
"Ouch!" Amber shot up, "Don't touch me, Richie Ryan, DON'T TOUCH ME!"  
  
"Sheesh, I'm sorry, what happened to you?" Richie asked.  
  
"Duncan."  
  
"What?" Richie asked.  
  
"I don't know what did it, but one minute, Duncan was making a big deal out of me putting a lobster in his bed, the next thing I knew, he dragged me into his room, took me over his knee and spanked me," Amber said.  
  
"Hard?" Richie asked.  
  
Of course he knew it was a stupid question, how else would he have spanked her?  
  
"Well it wasn't easy, I know that much," Amber said.  
  
"How many times did he do it?" Richie asked.  
  
The most times he remembered Duncan spanking him was 18 at the most.  
  
"I counted at least 50," Amber said.  
  
"FIFTY?!" Richie asked.  
  
"Yeah, although I started count after about the first 20 times," Amber said, "then I lost count after 50."  
  
"I don't believe this, Mac hardly ever spanked me, and if he did, it was only because I really deserved it, he did this because you put a lobster in his bed?" Richie asked.  
  
"He was sleeping in the nude, and I did put Sparky in the middle of the bed..."  
  
"Sparky? You named the lobster Sparky? Amber, you name an electric eel Sparky, a lobster you name..."  
  
"Shutup Richie," Amber said, "in any case, if that lobster happened to get into the right place, I can see why he's so ticked off at me."  
  
"What did he say?" Richie asked.  
  
"He said that when the lobster pinched him, he jumped out of bed and hit the ceiling, he looked like it too," Amber said.  
  
"Wait a minute, wait a minute..."  
  
"I'm waiting," Amber smiled.  
  
"There ARE child abuse laws nowadays, didn't anyone hear you?" Richie asked.  
  
"I doubt it, the rooms in this hotel are practically sound proof," Amber said, "for a while, I could barely hear me."  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"Duncan, what in the world are you wearing?"  
  
Amanda came up the hallway and saw Duncan tying a knot in the ends to what looked like a tie dye tangerine colored skirt.  
  
"It's called a sarong," Duncan said.  
  
"I know what it is, why are you wearing it?" Amanda asked.  
  
"Because, Amber got to the rest of my laundry for this trip," Duncan said.  
  
"Amber? Are you sure?"   
  
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure, I found them coverd in bleach and corn starch, the seats were ripped out of my jeans, and in one pair, there was a lobster."  
  
"The same one that pinched you in the..."  
  
"Yes! Yes!" Duncan said, "That one, I should know, I know every pincher in its claw personally...although she must be back to her old games, I can't find her anywhere."  
  
"Well I looked all over, and I can't find Richie anywhere," Amanda said.  
  
"Have you seen Connor?" Methos came up.  
  
"Wonderful," Duncan turned to Amanda, "how do you like that? Now everyone is missing!"  
  
"I'm serious, I looked all over the hotel, and every square inch for the next 5 miles," Methos said.  
  
"Well, Richie has mentioned seeing his girlfriend lately, he could be out on a date," Amanda said.  
  
"That makes sense, if Connor could make a date that lasts, that makes even more sense, but where'd that troll get to?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Duncan."  
  
"Not now, Methos, I have to find her, for all I know, she's probably putting hermit crabs in my shoes."  
  
"Duncan."  
  
"Methos, if you find her, let me know, don't nag me at every point!"  
  
Duncan turned around and walked off, with Sparky on the back of his shirt.  
  
"Suit yourself," Methos exhaled.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Connor staggered into the entrance of the hotel and found Richie and Amber filling up a giant washtub with something.  
  
[This should be interesting,] he thought.  
  
He watched as they took their shoes off and jumped in and started squashing the contents.  
  
"What in the world are you 2 doing?" Connor asked.  
  
"We're trying to stomp this stuff into a gradual matter," Richie said.  
  
"What are you.....dancing in?" Connor asked.  
  
"Coconut oil and butter," Amber answered.  
  
Connor's stomach turned when he heard that.  
  
"What are you 2 doing? Get out, get out of there!" Connor grabbed Richie and pulled him out of the tub, "get out of there! What are you trying to do? Poison the customers?"  
  
"It isn't for dinner, Connor, it's for..."  
  
"Ah, Connor!" Duncan came up, "I see you found them."  
  
"Yeah, it sounds to me like these 2 are trying to kill the people checking in here, look at what they're doing a Russian folkdance in," Connor pointed.  
  
"Eck, what is it?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Coconut oil and butter," Richie said.  
  
"Richie, I know you didn't get compliments from wearing that sarong yesterday, but what in the hell are you doing stomping around in the food?" Duncan asked.  
  
"It's not food, but we'll have to remember that when we go home," Amber said.  
  
"If it isn't food, what is it?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Step 1," Richie said.  
  
"Of what?" Connor asked.  
  
"Furniture varnish," Amber said.  
  
"WHAT!?" Duncan and Connor asked.  
  
"The manager said he's trying to re-varnish the furniture, it's something he makes from scratch, normally, he'd do it himself, but he's afraid his customers will get the wrong idea about his psychiatrical health...so he asked us if we would, and we agreed," Amber said.  
  
"What's step 2?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Hot tar and turbintine," Richie said.  
  
"Now this I want to see," Duncan laughed.  
  
"You can," Richie told him.  
  
"Because you're doing step 2," Amber said.  
  
"WHAT?!" Duncan asked.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"Dead on my feet," Duncan stumbled into his room.  
  
"You should be so lucky," Amber said.  
  
"Hot tar, turbintine, rubber cement, hot candle wax, my feet are killing me," Duncan groaned.  
  
"Good, now imagine that pain in your ass," Richie said.  
  
"I beg your pardon?" Duncan raised his head.  
  
"We weren't making any furniture varnish, we just had you stomp around in that stuff to suffer," Amber said.  
  
"Are you kidding? The manager told me...  
  
"He was in on it, we arranged the whole thing," Richie said.  
  
"WHAT!? Richie, what's the idea of making me make a fool of myself?"  
  
"You still did just by wearing that skirt, this was for revenge," Richie said.  
  
"Revenge for what?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Duncan, I can't sit down even when using a pillow, hell, it'll be Friday before I can use the toilet," Amber said.  
  
"Are you serious?" Duncan asked.  
  
"You want a visual aid of how my rumproast looks?" Amber asked.  
  
"No thank you," Duncan said.  
  
"You got no problem with doing it, but you don't want to know what happened afterwards?" Richie asked.  
  
"What? Richie I....Amber you.....I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN WITH YOU!"  
  
"Well Mac, what was the idea of striking her 70 times?" Richie asked.  
  
"I what?" Duncan asked.  
  
"It wasn't 70 times, Richie," Amber told him.  
  
"See?" Duncan asked.  
  
"It was 78," Amber said.  
  
"WHAT!?" Duncan turned back around.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"Hey Mac, come on in, have a seat."  
  
"No thanks Joe, I don't think I can."  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
"Richie and Amber really had it in for me, they tied me up, threw me down on the bed on my stomach, and beat my ass till it was bright red."  
  
"Why'd they do that?"  
  
"Amber I know why, Richie I can't figure out, Amber put a lobster in my bed today and it got me, I didn't know what to do with her, so when the thought entered my head, I just went with it."  
  
"What'd you do?"  
  
"Took her into my room and put her over my knee and spanked her 78 times," Duncan said.  
  
"78?" Joe looked up, "I know she's been a bad girl, but isn't that kinda severe?"  
  
"Well.....Joe, it's like watching a juvenile Richie, only this time, it's with 2 attitudes, every time I see her, I don't know what to expect, the good humored, regular Amber, or the head spinning, vomiting, shaking and swearing, beat-an-officer-within-an-inch-of-his-life Amber. I know she can take care of herself, but it scares the hell out of me, when we first met, I thought she was just a brat, then I realized she had a chip on her shoulder the size of a phone book, then, she started coming and going like a boarder, now that she's thinking of permanently moving in with us......I'll be surprised if she doesn't try to behead me when I'm asleep," Duncan said.  
  
"Guess what you could never imagine's finally happening," Joe said.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Shortly after you met her, you said you couldn't imagine having to put up with another human life for their whole life...well it looks like you're going to find out," Joe told him.  
  
"You know, there are times I wonder if she heard me and figured I didn't want her around."  
  
"Do you?"  
  
"I don't..........maybe, I'm not sure, I'm used to people coming and going, one way or the other, she moves in with us, I'm probably going to go crazy," Duncan said.  
  
"Well I'd say you're well on your way," Joe said, "last night I talked to Amber and..."  
  
"Last night? When did you talk to her?"  
  
"Shortly after you went to your room, she said that she's planning on picking up and leaving once we get back to Germany, so I guess you got your wish," Joe said.  
  
"Maybe I did...but it feels like punishment, she and Richie are practically joined at the hip most of the time...back when he first came to live with us, he worked solo...and he was gone for some time, I just can't imagine what it's going to be like having those two together and I can't imagine what it'd be like without them together."  
  
"So what're you saying?" Joe asked.  
  
"I say tomorrow, we get the heck out of Hawaii and go home and see what happens," Duncan said.  
  
End of chapter 6 


End file.
